Category — Uncategorized

A few years back, in my Blue Period, I took odd consolation in a book by Cambridge astrophysicist/cosmologist Martin Rees called [deep breath]: Our Final Hour: A Scientist’s Warning: How Terror, Error, and Environmental Disaster Threaten Humankind’s Future In This Century—On Earth and Beyond. It is, quite simply, a book about all of the most probable ways in which our civilization might come to an end by next century. In fact, Rees gives us a 50/50 chance of being wiped out by 2100 due to forces created by us, whether they be accidental or on purpose. Could be intentional act of bioterrorism; could be accidental by-product of creating/releasing bioagents by dropping a beaker onto the floor. Could be the creation of nanobots that ravage the Earth. Could be the creation of a particle collider so powerful that it creates a black hole. In theory, any/all of these are possible, and exist on a precariously thin wire. In the “proper” (i.e. responsible, dutiful, moral, what-have-you) hands, this technology can be, to the extent that it can be controlled, okay-ish. However, Rees’ main premise of his 50/50 bet is that the availability of advanced technology is eclipsing our own ability to “control it” (he offers the story of a New Zealand man who built a cruise missile in his garage for a few thousand dollars with junk parts and plans that he downloaded from the Almighty Internet). Think of it this way: the handbook of many terrorist organizations is available and codified and passed on not on paper, but by .pdf.

There are other, far more harrowing examples of exactly how we might shoot our civilization squarely in the ol’ collective foot, but I’ll save those for you to discover on your own when you’re feeling strong enough to read such things. Anyhoo, I haven’t been able to shake my recollection of that book for the last 40 days/nights of the BP oil debacle. As Z and I are about to vacation down the Gulf of Mexico way, I can’t help but wonder if next year’s vacation could take on a radically different odor. What’s worse are all of the scenarios tossed about by the dentists of the scientific community–meteorologists. They are claiming that a Katrina-grade (or even slightly lesser, but headed in that general direction) could churn the oily seas and bring an oily rain well up into Tennessee–like Nashville needs another AOG headache.

Nevermind the fact that the well still spews, and the Minds are utterly stumped to the point of guessing that this will likely go on well through the end of summer. Whatever happened to the summer of shark attacks? Or the summer of extreme urban heat? Or the summer of $5.00/gal gas prices–well, that’s probably going to happen, too.

I just can’t get over the cosmic joke of it all–we used technology to puncture a hole in the Earth’s core itself, never considering that its contents need to go someplace.

But why the Gulf? Why not the Jersey shore???

The day my 4-week-old car got rear-ended (Tuesday) effectively ended my quest for 365 posts in 365 days. In fact, I haven’t even looked that the ol’ girl in as many days. So, here’s the deal: I’ve broken my commitment, and I was honestly getting tired of posting each day–especially those days where I had nothing of even remote worth to offer. So… Maybe there’s a happy medium–not soooo much Josh that it hurts, and not so little claptrap…* that it’s hardly worth tuning in…

I suppose the good news is that in less than one week, I got into a car accident and got said accident resolved by way of “their” insurance. Now, I’m a pro at that, not that I ever wanted to be. Step one: Call the cops, no matter how much the other guy pleads for you not to. Step two: Call your insurance agent and file a claim, no matter who is at fault. Step three: Test the waters of their insurance company to see exactly how willing to work with you they are. Step four: Get the estimate, send it to Them, and then wait for the call where they say, “Yeah, you’ll get the check in a couple of days.” Excellent. The system working as it should, I guess…

The number 97 isn’t a bad number to have broken the streak on anyway. I have rather fond memories of 1997. Some day, I’m going to get that speech on DVD, and maybe it’ll be posted on YouTube or something…

Well, there you have it. I thank everyone for your comments, and your concern. I now present to you claptrap…* the sometimes daily when it really seems necessary…

The following is a list of words I do not like:
1. Poot
2. Ointment
3. Moist
4. Nipple
5. Hubby
6. Lube
7. Brah
8. Pimple
9. Pus
10. Actionable
11. Pump
12. Fester

Goodnight.

#97…

I know that I committed to one post each day. Today is #96, and I’m getting so sick of me and my silly sh*t. And this stuff goes right to my Facebook page, too. So I have to see it there as well. My god, I’ve got like absolutely nothing of interest to say anymore. How the hell am I supposed to eke out 365 of these? This is ridiculous. Unfortunately, I have the kind of light disorder that will not allow me to NOT do this each day, now that I’ve started. In fact, if you want to tune in to the ultimate post, catch this if I actually do miss a day. Then, you’ll have reason to visit. Suffice it to say that by now, should I accidentally miss a day, the repercussions would be devastating personally. I’d have to up my medication, and there may be a few days that are touch and go, as it were. It’s not like I’m even doing anything consistent here. Chr*st, I could’ve been posting chapters of my novel or something worthwhile. But what’s the thread, here? What? These little “categories”? Faineant? Yeah, it’s French for “distraction”. How clever. The rest could mean anything. Maybe I need to choose an “angle.” Maybe I should create a mission statement. Yes. I need a mission statement. Something that crystallizes and clarifies what this is all about. A credo that helps to articulate some kind of “organizing principle” or “theme”…

I’ve got it!

EVERYONE THINKS THEIR MONKEY IS CUTE…

Welcome to my blog…

#96

The college didn’t cancel classes tonight, so I taught half of the time w/half of the class in attendance–felt that was only fitting. As such, I am tired. It is bed time…

Here, good stuff:

My mom’s web site is pretty much done, with the exception of adding some links and stuff. Please check out her work here. What’s posted in the galleries represents just a fraction of her work, so if you’re interested in seeing more, feel free to email her. She’s currently at work on some pieces commissioned by a woman who saw my mom’s work in a gallery, and instead of buying some of her pieces, she asked my mom to trick out her home with murals and whatnot. Pretty cool. Anyway, you should check out the stuff!

From the fortune cookies that came w/my chicken & pea pods from Yen Yen tonight:
1. It is not the person who has too little, but the person who always craves more, that is poor…in bed.
2. You will obtain your goal if you maintain your course…in bed.
3. You are serious about your emotional relationships, but tend to be more reserved with your feelings…in bed.

73…

Today, driving home from work, I spotted a white GMC Yukon with Illinois vanity plates that read “MEXICAN” (front and back, so they had to be legit). The windows were tinted, which led me to think that it could be someone of import, but who? Who in Illinois could get that plate? It’s like spotting the “ASSMAN.” Anyway, never saw who it was, but I welcome any guesses…

Vanity plates I would consider getting:

• D OH
• CYNIC
• PENMAN
• HUSTLA
• VERB
• PLATE
• LO RENT
• BOO B
• KRUNKD
• JOSHFU
• KNEVIL
• TNKLER
• NVRNUDE

Maybe it’s the times, but for the last year or so I’ve been looking for ways to lower pretty much all of my utilities/bills/expenses by simply asking. I scored a great deal with my monthly cell plan, got a great deal on a new car, and this weekend I’m going to take on the Big Guy–Comcast. For my basic digital cable and internet package to be over $100 is obscene to me. But last weekend, I ordered Inglourious Basterds “On Demand,” and halfway through, it went all choppy and blanky. I called, talked to someone in a different country, who didn’t really care, but gave me a $20 credit on my next bill. I’m going to see if I can’t get that and then some on every bill from here on out. You’d be surprised what you can save with a little persistence. I noticed this article that details more or less what I did with Sprint, though it’s Comcast-specific. So, I’ll let you know how it goes. “Cheapskate”? I don’t know. I thought that for a minute, until I this table about best values in public universities. The tuition made me think that being a cheapskate ain’t such a bad plan…

Number 70:

Last night, I was watching Colbert or one of the shows, and they played a quick clip from this classic Bugs Bunny cartoon. I used to watch BB like Z watches SpongeBob–it was the omnipresent white noise of my childhood; Saturday mornings and weekdays after school (watched with an after-school snack of a bowl of vanilla ice cream with lots of Hershey’s syrup on it). When I found the whole video, I was surprised how much of the lines I remembered (there was a time when I knew this whole song by rote)…

From “Hillbilly Hare,” circa 1950-ish. This is classic…