Here’s something I learned a long time ago about teaching: You will have (if you’re lucky) one day in a semester in which you cannot formulate an idea worth sharing, you cannot facilitate an intelligent/productive discussion to save your life, and you cannot come up with anything that your students will find remotely interesting. This ends one of two ways, I’ve learned: A.) A class mutiny or B.) Stupidly early dismissal. Unless you fancy watching every student (including the “nice” or “kindly” ones who are always on your side or at least feign interest in your lessons) turn on you with impunity, you’ll cut your losses, apologize for sucking rocks tonight, and tell everyone to go home early and watch [shudder] the Bears–it’ll be less painful…

Items discovered when I reached my hand in between the couch cushions tonight:
1. Two quarters
2. An almond
3. A green Sharpie
4. A fortune from a cookie that reads: “You will be happiest if you please yourself first”